I'm an artist? Who?

Have you ever had one of those moments where you thought everything was rolling along the way it always has, the way it is supposed to and then come screaming to a blinding halt? 

You ask yourself,  "Who have I been fooling all this time? What was I thinking!?" 

No matter what path I took or who I saw myself as or would be, I've always been an artist. I have the preschool scrapbooks lovingly put together by my Mother to prove it. That's me. So what happened?

I have to step back and really stop. Figure this out. Am I fooling myself? 

I make art. 

For who? Me? For the show I hope to get into? For the person who wants to use my artistic ability because its exactly what they're looking for? 

What happens when no one wants it or I don't get accepted or worse yet, that feeling disappears? The inspiration is gone? I feel it happening. Defeated. Ignored. Tapped out. 

I recently applied and was denied entry into a local art show. I thought my stuff was pretty good? I love my pieces and its painful when I'm rejected. 

When I'M REJECTED. 

Well, I know I'm taking it personally. That's just how it feels. 

So now what? 

This is what. I will make my own inspiration. I will find it alive and breathing. Living all around me. I am going to search it out and surround myself with art. I will live it. Breath it. Admire it. Envy it. 

I will find other artists. I will learn new ways to express my creative spirit. I want to bleed in color and breathe it all in. I will start right now and do this for an entire year straight. 

I make art. For who?

For me. I'm the only one that really needs to love it. I'm gonna prove that to myself and shed this thick skin of self preservation and safety. 

What do I do first? I surround myself with the art that I've already created. 

I have a place at home called Studio D'Art  (At least that's what I have named it in my Foursquare account) and I have hung all the pieces I could find that don't currently have a wall space. 

It's a little cluttered but when I stand in the middle of it all I can see myself. 

This is where I begin. 

The next step is to find an artist or artists. Right here. My town. 

Time to do a little research.