A little deconstruction now and then...

Something happened when I stepped out of the shower, other than fogging up the mirror and smelling better than when I first stepped in. 

I was struck!! Blind sighted by an idea that was so vivid and strong that it just about knocked me off my naked feet. It was similar to that scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy opens the door from inside the bleak, black and white room to the technicolor daydream of the land of Oz! 

Here I've been searching, driving around, looking, observing, becoming frustrated. Feeling like, "What the Hell am I doing? There is no point to this blog! It's a search for nothing I'm ever gonna figure out!" Then WHAM!!! (Not the Michael/Wrigley duo from the 80's mind you) an honest to goodness, old fashioned epiphany from the Muses that be. 

I have it! 

I have part of the answer anyway.

I always did and I haven't listened to my own inner voice like the way I preach to everyone else to do. 

I have to stop searching and just live with my eyes open for a change. 

Hallelujah! Eureka!! I think she's onto something folks! Artists really are EVERYWHERE! I, being the snot I am, wasn't looking beyond the end of my own dear nose, or fingers, in this case. 

The rest of my afternoon became very enlightening and I have my dear, sweet friend Wendi to thank for inviting me along and introducing me to a very talented artist. Gena. 

Gena is this amazing, funny, talented woman that turns Wendi's nails into works of art!! We show up and I got the "ok" to take some pictures and watch the process. 

As she sculpts and files away, She is completely at ease with us watching and chatting right along. I explain what my blog is about, as she notices me jotting notes and getting all up in her work taking pictures getting nosey in her business. "I'm going through the deconstruction of myself as an artist to see if that's who I really am... Blah, blah, blah....pretentious explaination of my simple idea and she says, "Well that sounds like something an artist would say." Big smile. 

She proudly proclaimed without hesitation, "I'm an artist." Another big smile. 

Amazing. Simply amazing. 

That's exactly what I'm looking for. That feeling. That knowing, without all the doubt. 

She continued to paint and polish each nail to perfection and then was off to her next client. 

What a fab afternoon. I feel like I'm a whole step, or maybe even a few closer to the answer. 

They're following me. They know where I live.

These beautiful little faces. Full of these amazing ideas, spilling over into inspiration and awe.
No matter what happens with me, I know that my two beautiful daughters have many more things to dream up and create.

My ultimate masterpiece will be successfully raising these two little women into strong, smart, creative and  inspiring human beings that will in turn leave a positive mark on the world that they exist in.

First, I need them to take the trash out and clean their rooms!

A Potters Field

A potter's field or common grave is a term for a place for the burial of unknown or indigent people. The expression derives from the Bible, referring to a field used for the extraction of potter's clay; such land, useless for agriculture, could be used as a burial site.

Today was good. A little mix of local history with a sprinkling of art for the masses. Be it art created from the memorials of the dead masses, but all of it a celebration of life. 

Just as I had predicted my mother got a little moody and my daughter, more antsy than angry but both indulged my fascination with these ancient tablets of marble and rock. It was fabulous! 

We walked up and down the aisles of graves, following volunteer actors recite facts and dates, marriages, farms and finally deaths of many of the pioneer residents resting in peace right there below our very feet. 

After the "turn back time" tour they handed out rolls of paper and crayons for us to wander around with and play in the cemetery! My kiddo even got involved and made two of the four tombstone rubbings that we came home with. 

I see these pieces as an interesting start to something larger. Possibly an altered art piece or collage. 

I want to come back to this place sometime soon and check out the areas that I feel I didn't spend enough time looking at. I loved the age of the area, the space, the light. I want to come and take more pictures. Something more to round out this art piece. 

The oldest section, the north end of this cemetery was first started as a potters field. I want to explore back there. Pick up vibrations and inspiration. 

Who knows, the entire feel of this piece could change. Whatever happens I know that today was totally worth it. It was something I've not tried before and I met a few cool people along the way. 

Don't forget me when I'm dead.

It might seem a bit on the macabre side of things but My interest in the ancient art form of tombstone rubbings has been resurrected! Praise be!!

What in the world?! Who in their right mind would go traipsing through a cemetery with an armful of art supplies and try to capture a moment of the past on a sheet of butcher paper and graphite! Bonus points if its before 1895 and contains some sort of religious symbolism! Booyah!

Tomorrow I'm dragging my almost angry teenager and sometimes moody momma into a local graveyard along with a group of strangers for a cemetery walk. A lesson in Lake County history along with the promise of some homemade, instantly gratifying art pieces!! 

I can't wait to see how we all get along and if the weather will play nice!

A little bit o' history to share with all ya all.

Chasing Ghosts

Yesterday I had the best intentions of riding in all fabulous and finding different artists around town to connect with and talk to about being artists. Yeah! My search for kindred spirits!!
I hopped into Betty (my 13 year old, blue Saturn) and drove off into my dream bubble.

A few hours later I'm driving home with a handful of carrots and Halloween spiderwebs. Requests from my family. The bright bubble of artistic inspiration burst. Boo... Hiss.
Ok. So maybe I should have called these places I had in mind. I just figured that they would be in their element, creating life and art and music blaring and whatever. Like walking into"The Factory" but the new modern version of it without all the drug addicts and Mylar.
 Yeah, so....no.
I think modern artists take Mondays off? I need to make a mental note of this in case I ever hit that artist schedule status.

So a little deflated and less gas in my tank, I returned home and created a survey. A survey that any artist reading my blog is welcome to take. Connect with me.
I might not have the drug addicts and Mylar either but I might wake up again sometime soon and jump into another local road trip with Betty.
 So knowing that other artists are out there makes the adventure worth taking. Next time I'm taking pictures and naming names!

THE SURVEY/QUESTIONNAIRE
Here it is, all official and everything:
The Lone Artist - to wear or not wear the mask?

The art continues...

Making art in an un-artistic world.

So, here I am, living life. Like most people you wake up, have stuff to get done, dishes to do, bills to pay. Life. Day after day, more of the same. Where do I find the color? My laundry needs to be done.

My intention for this month will be to search out the locals. I know you're out there. Like me, among the masses. Hiding in the shadows and searching the aisles of Hobby Lobby looking for "it". (And I don't mean some wicked Stephen King clown.)
They probably even face the same self doubting questions and uninspired couch potato-ness like I do.

My favorite place to think besides in bed or my Studio D'Arte is sitting on the floor of my dusty local library. That place is absolutely running over with ideas if only I could just wrap my mind around it and funnel it into a jar of paint or the tip of a charcoal. On the floor two nights ago between DIY basket making and how to draw like the old masters (yawn) I started to form this survey. To see if what I'm feeling is similar or way off. Ya know? Compare my crazy to that of others.
Is this a good idea?
Of course it is!

Here is the flow straight off of my phone's "Notes":
Oct-local artists.
Do they still make art?
Have they found support within their community.
Have they connected with other artists? Have they felt left out?
Do they compete?
Do they want to connect with the community and other artists?
Where do they find inspiration?
Do they get discouraged?
How many times have they given up?
Local being Lake County
Artist being? What I do? Including musicians? Including all artists? Writers?
Where does it stop? Photographers?
Inspiration hits me at the library. Who is that local artist plus maybe it's the large amount of art and writers. Or everyone else looking for something? Inspiration? Otherworldly? Angels? Muses?

Ok, so maybe that last part got a crazy. That's ok. I'm allowed. This is my freaking free-form thought bible.

How do I find these people? These artists?
I need to set up something a little more formal? Provide a prize if they answer my questions?
I need to set up the perimeters and boundaries or is this gonna be a free for all? You call yourself an artist? Why?? 

Where do I start? Where the artists hang out? Yeah! 
Where do the artists hang out? 

Standing in the middle I see me.

Southwest corner

My newest art baby

Up high

Northeast corner

Creation Station

I'm an artist? Who?

Have you ever had one of those moments where you thought everything was rolling along the way it always has, the way it is supposed to and then come screaming to a blinding halt? 

You ask yourself,  "Who have I been fooling all this time? What was I thinking!?" 

No matter what path I took or who I saw myself as or would be, I've always been an artist. I have the preschool scrapbooks lovingly put together by my Mother to prove it. That's me. So what happened?

I have to step back and really stop. Figure this out. Am I fooling myself? 

I make art. 

For who? Me? For the show I hope to get into? For the person who wants to use my artistic ability because its exactly what they're looking for? 

What happens when no one wants it or I don't get accepted or worse yet, that feeling disappears? The inspiration is gone? I feel it happening. Defeated. Ignored. Tapped out. 

I recently applied and was denied entry into a local art show. I thought my stuff was pretty good? I love my pieces and its painful when I'm rejected. 

When I'M REJECTED. 

Well, I know I'm taking it personally. That's just how it feels. 

So now what? 

This is what. I will make my own inspiration. I will find it alive and breathing. Living all around me. I am going to search it out and surround myself with art. I will live it. Breath it. Admire it. Envy it. 

I will find other artists. I will learn new ways to express my creative spirit. I want to bleed in color and breathe it all in. I will start right now and do this for an entire year straight. 

I make art. For who?

For me. I'm the only one that really needs to love it. I'm gonna prove that to myself and shed this thick skin of self preservation and safety. 

What do I do first? I surround myself with the art that I've already created. 

I have a place at home called Studio D'Art  (At least that's what I have named it in my Foursquare account) and I have hung all the pieces I could find that don't currently have a wall space. 

It's a little cluttered but when I stand in the middle of it all I can see myself. 

This is where I begin. 

The next step is to find an artist or artists. Right here. My town. 

Time to do a little research.